


Just Like Everybody Else Does

by DefinitelyYou



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: A bit sad, F/M, Inspired by a song by The Smiths, M/M, Mutual Pining, Penelope Bunce is still the smartest person in the room, Simon is clueless, Takes place sometime before Carry On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23055733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefinitelyYou/pseuds/DefinitelyYou
Summary: It’s not the most embarrassing situation I’ve ever found myself in, but it’s still well embarrassing. Might even be in my top five, up there with the time I spelled my shirt and trousers off in Ms. Possibelf’s class, leaving me only in my pants, socks, and trainers. I’m not nearly as starkers this time around, but I still feel naked, emotionally speaking.I’m standing in the middle of the clearing in the Wavering Wood on a makeshift dance floor surrounded by magicked fairy lights while possibly the most depressing song I’ve ever heard rings through the clearing. I’ve been deserted by both my girlfriend and my nemesis, and everyone is watching my next move.
Relationships: Dev & Niall & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Simon Snow/Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	Just Like Everybody Else Does

**Author's Note:**

> So The Smiths' song "How Soon is Now?" came on randomly on Spotify a week or so ago (I've been listening to far too much 90s music lately), and I couldn't stop thinking that Baz would have listened to this song during the height of his pining for Simon. Voila, this story was born. It's (maybe) a bit more depressing than I had originally planned it to be, but, then again, it was inspired by The Smiths. 
> 
> As always, enjoy!

**SIMON**

It’s not the most embarrassing situation I’ve ever found myself in, but it’s still well embarrassing. Might even be in my top five, up there with the time I spelled my shirt and trousers off in Ms. Possibelf’s class, leaving me only in my pants, socks, and trainers. I’m not nearly as starkers this time around, but I still feel naked, emotionally speaking. 

I’m standing in the middle of the clearing in the Wavering Wood on a makeshift dance floor surrounded by magicked fairy lights while possibly the most depressing song I’ve ever heard rings through the clearing. Nearly all of my classmates are here, staring at me like I’m the most pathetic person they’ve ever seen. (I probably _am_ the most pathetic person they’ve ever seen. I may be the Chosen One, but that doesn’t mean I’ve got myself sorted out.)

****

Today started like every other day. I woke up and took a shower, put on my uniform, left my tie purposefully untied (to rile up Baz), was greeted with a snide comment about said tie from Baz (goal accomplished), and headed to breakfast for my usual stash of sour cherry scones and rashers of bacon. Everything was fine until dinner, when I noticed Agatha (my girlfriend, I think) staring at something across the dining hall. I turned to follow her gaze, and it led me straight to Baz. I was sitting with my back to him, at Penny’s urging. She was tired of my obsessing over his every move. “You hit your Baz limit three days ago, Simon,” she declared. So I did my best to ignore him (until, well, I couldn’t).

Baz was with his mates, Dev and Niall, at their usual table across the hall from us. They were laughing (conspiratorially) when Baz caught my eye. He raised his eyebrow at me in that infuriating way of his, and then he shifted his gaze to Agatha and winked. The tosser fucking winked. 

I look back at Agatha, and she’s blushing and smiling at him.

“Oi, Agatha, I’m sitting right here.”

“What?” she asks innocently. 

“You were staring at Baz,” I say, clearly annoyed. “And he winked at you.”

“Like you should be one to talk, Simon. You spend the majority of your free time obsessing over Baz Pitch.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t wink at me.”

“So what if he did wink at me?”

“You’re my girlfriend, Agatha. He doesn’t have a right to wink at you.”

“Right? Just because I’m your girlfriend doesn’t mean you own me, Simon Snow,” she says, slamming her drink down on her dinner tray and pushing her chair back hard enough that it nearly topples over. 

“Aggie, come on,” I call after her, but it’s too late. 

“Simon, you know anytime you bring up Baz with Agatha that it ends up like this.”

“But he winked at her, Penny.”

“To get a rise out of you, Simon.”

“I know, I know,” I say, fiercely picking at my food. “But he’s just such a tosser.”

“Come on, Si,” she sighs. “Let’s give Agatha some time. We can find her after we finish.”

“Yeah, okay,” I answer, digging into the rest of my roast beef and potatoes. 

***

I head back to our room in Mummer’s House after dinner and nearly run into Baz. He’s heading out the door just as I’m heading in. 

“What’s your hurry, Snow? Miss me?” he smirks.

“Shut it, Baz. I’m not in the mood.”

“Trouble in paradise again?”

“No thanks to you,” I say, looking at him for the first time. He’s dressed up. Dark trousers, blue silk shirt, fancy black Brogues, and his hair is pulled back into a bun, just like he wears it when he plays football. 

“Out on the hunt, eh?” 

“Might be,” he responds. “What if I’m out to hunt Agatha?”

“What?” I growl. 

“See there’s this party tonight, Snow, out in the Wavering Wood. I know Agatha’s going . . . alone I take it.”

“You wouldn’t?” 

“Try me,” he snarls and storms out the door. 

*****

“Penny! Penny!” I yell from below her second-floor window in The Cloisters. “Penny!”

“For fuck’s sake, Simon, shut up,” calls Penny’s roommate Keris, sticking her head out the window. “She’s on her way outside.” She then slams the window with a magical flourish, sparks flying as it closed (impressive piece of magic, that). 

“Si, what’s wrong,” Penny calls running across the lawn to me.

“Baz is on the hunt,” I whisper (loudly), worried others will hear.

“What? Don’t be silly, Simon,” she says, looking both disappointed and annoyed. 

“I’m not being silly, Penelope,” I say, taking her arm and pulling her closer to me. “He was different tonight. All dressed up. I mean dressed up more than normal. His normal Watford uniform that is.”

She gives me a weary look, but I bluster on.

“He was wearing tight trousers and fancy shoes. His shirt was even unbuttoned to here (I point to the middle of my chest). He looked right fit, he did.”

(Wait, did I just say he looked fit? Well, I mean, Baz always looks nice, for a bloke. Or at least better than most. Crowley, I’m so upset I’m delusional.)

“Simon, I don’t care if Baz Pitch was dressed like bloody Prince Harry. Why is this important?”

“Because he’s up to something, Penny. I jokingly asked him if he was on the hunt, and he said he was. He didn’t even flinch. Said he was going to hunt Agatha at some party in the Wavering Wood. We have to do something, Penny. He could hurt people.”

She somehow manages to peer down her nose at me, even though she’s at least four inches shorter than I am. 

“Penelope! Please!”

“Fine,” she huffs out after a minute or two. She walks back across the lawn and stands below her room, casts a **When a Door Closes** , and calls up to Keris once the window is wide open.

“Merlin and Morgana, Penny, you nearly made me piss myself,” Keris calls down to us. She looks dressed up, too. More eye makeup than normal.

“Why do you look so nice?” I call up to her.

“Why don’t you ever look nice, Simon Snow,” she calls down snarkily. 

“Do you know about some party in the Wavering Wood tonight?” Penny asks, ignoring our banter. 

“Yes, and I’m running late to it. Is that all you needed?”

“How do we find it?” Penny asks back.

“Just follow the trail of seventh years,” she calls back. “Everyone is going.” 

As she turns away, sparks fly as she slams the window shut once again.

“Well, I guess we need to look for our classmates then,” I say and trudge off across the courtyard. 

They aren’t hard to find. Once we near the football pitch, we see them. In the shadow of a large Hawthorn tree, small groups of our classmates look to be walking on air across the moat. As we get closer, we finally hear the spell, **I Like This Place and Could Willingly Waste My Time In It** , which brings forth a nearly transparent bridge across the moat.

“This is beautiful magic, Simon,” she whispers. “Old Magic.”

“Where’s it from?” I ask her. “I’ve never heard it before.”

“It’s Shakespeare. I think it’s from a play, _Midsummer’s Night Dream_ or _As You Like_. Something with fairies and forests.”

“Sounds like something Baz would know. I bet it’s a trap set by his family,” I say in disgust.

“Simon, it’s _magic_ , and it’s not hurting anyone. Who cares where it came from,” she says. “Let’s go.”

After we cross the bridge, we follow everyone to a clearing deep in the Wood. Keris was right--I think all of our class is here. There’s a group of students sitting by a bonfire, drinking and laughing, others are dancing in a small area surrounded by twinkling fairy lights floating in mid-air (Crowley, I love magic). An old tree trunk has been turned into a makeshift bar, with bottles of assorted sizes and colors scattered across it. 

I scan the crowd, looking for Agatha and Baz or anything out of sorts. I spot Dev and Niall over by the bonfire, drinking and laughing with friends. Agatha is sitting next to Niall, looking bored as usual. I don’t see Baz anywhere. He’s not hanging out with his mates or with anyone else that I can see. I scan back over the dance floor again and that’s when I see him. He’s leaning back against a tree, almost hidden from view. He’s standing in the shadows, and he’d be nearly invisible if he wasn’t for his pale skin, which shines like a beacon in the moonlight. One knee is bent, his foot resting against the tree. And is he smoking? He really shouldn’t do that, he’s flammable. I should tell him that and start to head over to him until Penny stops me. 

“Simon, what are you doing?”

“Baz, he’s smoking. He needs to stop--he could catch fire.”

“Leave him be, he’s not doing anything but standing there.”

“Exactly,” I say. She huffs in response, but let’s go of my arm. And that’s when I feel it. That tingling feeling when you’re being watched. My hair stands up on the back of my neck, and I turn back to Baz. He’s staring directly at me. He takes a drink of something out of a plastic cup, but his gaze never leaves mine. It’s unnerving. He’s giving me a look I don’t recognize (he looks hungry, I think), and I don’t like it. So I jut my chin out just so to let him know that he doesn’t intimidate me.

Baz looks away, finally, and pushes himself off of the tree, stomping out the butt of his cigarette with his foot and walking over to the bar, where he pours himself another drink. Once his glass is full, he stops and fiddles with what must be someone’s phone, and the music suddenly changes. The dancers protest a bit--who can blame them, "Uptown Funk" is replaced by a song I’ve never heard. It’s slow but has a nice beat, danceable (even if the guitar is a bit too whiny for my liking). The crowd starts to move again, and that’s when I see Baz walk out onto the dance floor. Alone. He’s mouthing along to the words--”I am the son, and the heir . . . of nothing in particular”--and he starts to sway to the beat, not paying mind to anyone else on the floor.

“Oh, he’s drunk,” Penny says, a little too loudly. 

“What?”

“Look at him, Simon, I’ve never seen Baz this, I don’t know, free before. I can’t imagine he’d ever do that if he were sober,” gesturing to Baz on the dance floor.

“That’s even worse, he could get out of control.”

Penny huffs again and walks aways from me to join Agatha by the bonfire, leaving me alone at the edge of the dance floor watching my drunk roommate sway to some depressing (yet danceable) song.

“For fucks sake! Niall! Why’d you let him do that?” Dev yells from behind me. (I didn’t notice him leave the bonfire). “You were supposed to be his wingman tonight.” 

Niall jumps up from his seat by the fire and funs over to join his mate. “Crowley! The last time I saw him he was standing under a tree minding his own business. I didn’t think he’d do something like this.”

“Do what?” I ask, turning around to face them. 

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Snow. He’s not plotting anything evil. It’s just the music. He’s playing that fucking Smiths song again,” Dev says.

“Smiths song?” I ask again.

“Some song about being loved or something. It’s one of Fiona’s favorites, and Baz plays it when he’s feeling depressed, usually after consuming too much alcohol,” Niall answers, then pointing towards Baz, he adds with a laugh, “I didn’t realize he was so pissed.” 

The three of us turn to watch Baz swaying on the dancefloor. His shirt is untucked, and he’s precariously holding his cup full of who knows what. Even pissed off his arse, he looks as graceful as ever (the tosser). And we’re not the only ones noticing--nearly every girl at the party is watching him now, including Agatha.

“Word of advice, Snow,” Dev asks, clapping me on the shoulder. “Don’t fuck with Baz when he’s like this. He only dances to this song when he’s truly pissed or utterly depressed, usually both. Give it a rest tonight. For all our sakes.”

“Sure, Dev. I’ll give it a rest for your sake,” I say sarcastically, brushing his hand off my shoulder and walking closer to the edge of the dance floor. 

Was this part of Baz’s plan? Seduction of the masses? If so, it’s clearly working. Nearly everyone at the party is watching him now, and he’s acting as if he could care less, lost in the music. He should look ridiculous, but he looks, well, he’s mesmerizing. His trousers are tighter than I remembered, and his shirt is open even more than it was earlier tonight. Wisps of dark hair frame his face, and his eyes are locked on mine. Merlin, he’s distracting. 

(Am I sweating? It must be the bonfire.)

Baz starts to mouth along to the lyrics again, eyes never leaving mine. I can just make out a few lines--“I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does”--and the whole world suddenly disappears. It’s just me and Baz locked in some sort of standoff. He’s drunk and dancing. I’m sober and confused. 

“Fuck this,” I say to myself after a minute or two and decide to confront him on the dancefloor, but Agatha beats me to him. She’s standing in front of Baz now, looking up at him with those big blue eyes of hers. He takes his eyes off me and looks down his nose at Agatha, wrapping his free arm around her. They start to sway together, and it’s, well, it’s right sexy. 

More and more of our classmates gather around the dance floor; someone whistles as they watch my girlfriend and my nemesis dancing (suggestively) under fairy lights. I can feel eyes locking on me, and I can hear the whispering around me. 

First the flirting and now this. Outright seduction. Baz did tell me he was hunting Agatha tonight, but this just won’t stand. I will myself to move and stomp my way over to the two of them. I swear the music has only gotten louder, and it’s pulsing in my brain. I can barely think. I'm breathing hard, my palms are sweaty. I stop just in front of them, looking up directly into Baz’s eyes, daring him to make a move. 

He’s breathing hard, too, and is flushed--I can’t tell if it’s from the alcohol or Agatha’s proximity or his anger at me--and it’s making my heart race and my magic throb underneath my skin. 

They’ve stopped dancing now, and I can see Agatha out of the corner of my eye, looking between the two of us, but I can’t take my eyes off of Baz. He’s let go of Agatha but is still staring intently into my eyes. He looks so vulnerable, so sad, but also just fucking hot. (Fucking hell, what am I thinking?) 

I break his gaze and look at his lips, full and inviting. Merlin and Morgana! Am I seriously thinking of kissing Baz? I start to feel the blush creep up my neck onto my cheeks.

“What do you want, Snow?” Baz asks through clenched teeth. I can smell the smoke and alcohol on his breath, but it still doesn’t mask the scent of cedar and bergamot that clings to him, always. I pull my gaze off of his lips and look up into steel grey eyes with flecks of blue and green (I’ve never noticed that before, it’s lovely).

“I don't know,” I respond, sounding embarrassingly breathless.

“Then fuck off,” he growls and stomps off across the clearing, as ruthless as ever, leaving Agatha and me alone on the dance floor. 

Shortly after, Agatha turns and gives me a murderous look, stomping off in the opposite direction. Everyone at the party is watching me, and I’m alone on the dance floor with that blasted Smiths song taunting me: " . . . you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home, and you cry, and you want to die." 

*****

Like I said, it’s not the most embarrassing situation I’ve ever found myself in, but it’s still well embarrassing. I’ve been deserted by both my girlfriend and my nemesis, and everyone is watching my next move. I imagine they think I might go off, but my magic isn’t the problem. It’s me. What I feel is more than embarrassment. It's, well, yearning or longing . . . for Baz, and it’s taking all of my energy to keep myself from running after him. I want, no _need_ , to understand what just happened between us, because something definitely did.

(Merlin, what did he do to me? I’ve never felt this way before. It must be his vampire thrall.)

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Snow,” Dev says from behind me. 

“Shut the fuck up, Dev,” I growl as I turn towards him, my hand automatically curling into a fist.

“Or what? You going to break my nose like you did Baz’s? Leave your mark on me?”

Without thinking my arm swings back but is stopped mid-air.

“Come on, Simon. It’s not worth it,” Penny says and steers me off the impromptu dance floor and towards the edge of the clearing. 

“What was that?” she asks when we’re out of earshot of the others. Someone, thankfully, has changed the music, playing One Direction instead, and everyone’s attention has finally moved on. 

“His thrall, I think,” I whisper.

“His what?” 

“You know, the vampire thrall. What else could have drawn both me and Agatha to him?”

“Oh, Simon. Please stop it with the vampire thing. What happened between the three of you?”

“I don’t know, Penny. I just couldn’t look away from him.”

“And Agatha?”

“I didn’t say a word to her. Baz didn’t either. I think we ignored her, honestly.”

“Well, that’s not surprising.”

“What’s that mean?” I ask, suddenly defensive.

“Why don’t you let me know when you figure it out,” she stays storming off across the clearing.

I’m left alone, again, even more confused than before. I can see Baz as clear as day singing along to the song and staring across the clearing at me: “I am human and I need to be loved, Just like everybody else does.” 

Is Baz human? I mean, he’s a vampire, of course, but is he still human? And did I really want to kiss him just then? Couldn’t be. It was his vampire thrall. Yeah. Yes. That’s it. His thrall made me do it. Right?

“Penny, wait,” I call as I run after her. “It was his thrall, right? Right, Pen?”

**BAZ**

Seven hells, I was going to kiss Simon Snow. Right there in front of everyone, with Agatha looking up at me with her lovesick eyes (like I can talk). I don’t know what stopped me. It surely wasn’t him--for a moment I thought he might . . . I mean he looked at my lips . . . he was flushed, breathing hard. Thank Crowley I came to my senses. 

Fuck all. I need something to get my mind off of Snow. 

I race to the catacombs to find a few rats to drown my misery (and wash the alcohol away). As I drink, the lyrics of that damn song keep repeating over and over again: “I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.” 

And then I remember that I’m not human, not anymore. And Simon Snow will never let me forget it.

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics for ["How Soon is Now?" ](https://genius.com/The-smiths-how-soon-is-now-lyrics) if you're curious.


End file.
